First they blew into town... then they BLEW IT UP!
Hey Apple DUmpling Gang. Fuck to you.
The Apple Dumpling Gang is a movie about a courageous band of apple dumplings who form a gang and solve crimes. That was a lie. Set in the wild wild west (West, Jim West, Desperadoe, You don't want nona this, no you don't want nada) The Apple Dumpling Gang is a movie about a group of annoying children who get accidentally adopted by a gamblin' ramblin' gramblin' man whose name I forget. The annoying but courageous kids love apple dumplings and they go find gold in a cave and become rich. Don Knotts tries to steal the gold but is thwarted by his own suckiness. The Gambly man becomes a fambly man when he marries the tomboyish woman who is actually beautiful. They do this strictly to raise the kids really good and then I fell asleep. I assume that eventually they fall in love for real, adopt the adorable kids whom I loathe and Don Knotts ends up lynched next to some Indians and stray dogs. I don't look forward to watching "The Apple Dumpling Rides Again" but I must for watching every Disney film ever made is my gift, it is my curse.
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